Situations that are not
Violations of law and
(Be sure to consult the law, and/or customs relevant to your region and/or culture, or other applicable laws and regulations.)
(Be sure that your advocacy is based upon the person's expressed wishes, not what you believe they need.)
Define the problem: Become clear about the problem and your goals will be easier to achieve. Know the law regarding your issues.
Write out the possible options to achieve your goal: Select one or two issues that you would like to work on. Write each down as a clear statement, and follow through with your options and an evaluation of options, or how you would like to see them resolved. Make a list of the possible solutions to your problem.
Evaluate the Options: by writing out the Pros and Cons for each option, and select the option you feel most comfortable with. Please see: Problem Solving Training, or PTSSS The Core Teaching for more information about how to do each step.
Develop an Action Plan: We already have a good idea of what the problem is, and what we would like to accomplish. How can we accomplish it? Write a list of actions we can take. Break each task down into manageable steps. This may include documenting your case by keeping a log, or making sure you have a backup plan (in case you need to change your strategy to get what you want).
Document all of your efforts. Add all your phone calls, emails, and other efforts to communicate to your log.
We may need to learn to deal with people who are controlling the situation. This may include parents, lawyers, or agents involved in managing our lives. We may need to meet with them, and/or make phone calls, and write letters to be clear and concise about our needs, and be prepared to share the ideas we've already written down to resolve the problem. You'll find an example of how this is done at: PTSSS Core Teaching
And finally, evaluate your work: Review what you did, how you did it, and determine if you've accomplished what you set out to do. What further steps do you need to take to be successful in getting want you want? If the solution you originally selected did not work out, what about the other options? Please see: Evaluation Form
Don't give up! Even if many attempts to reach your goals hasn't worked out, keep trying. We may have to revise our plan and try other strategies, such as anger management so we don't loose our temper and alienate our allies, but remember! Keep working on your goals until you've resolved your problem to your satisfaction! If you stop before you do, you will not be content, or resolved, and that is our goal. You'll know you've accomplished your goal when you've achieved piece of mind.
Congratulations! You've reviewed some of the most challenging defensive strategy we know. Without it, there would be no motivation for forgiveness.