What really bothered me was very simple! I was afraid of powerful sex. When I was young, I saw powerful displays of sexuality that I didn't believe I could live up to. Please see: Lust
I tempted the very thing I was afraid of just to see if I would measure up, and when I was defeated, I mocked the injustice, and demanded to be heard. Even when what I said was life threatening, I carried on completely unaware of how damaging I'd become. So I've written some new boundaries, and a plan here: Consent, Boundaries & Treatment Plans
When The Fates demanded satisfaction, I declined the opportunity. Sometimes the motivation for my behavior amounted to nothing more than sizing up the competition; to avoid being bested by size or strength, I'd try to determine whether a rival was a real threat or not. For more detail on this specific problem, please see: Transposions, second column 'The Evaluating Mind' (Transpositions)
While scheming as a mistrustful child, I blindly followed instructions sure to lead to my ruination, and then wondered why I was being hurt. Please see: Retrospective
I found options and alternatives that work, and the value of the rights and responsibilities that I've been shown have served not only me, but those I've been able to help as well. I describe a lay implementation of those rights here: Bill of Rights
To know exactly what fails in life helps us to give back to those who suffer the same fate, or to those who suffer with injuries that result. What's to come: Coming Soon!
When faced with a crisis of our own making, we need to rely upon the judgement of others, and guidance and direction provided by God, and well meaning people and institutions. However, to fully rely upon external control is to loose control over one's own life, resulting in a feeling of futility, and uselessness.
Even if it works as a program of action, we can become dependent upon the program, rather than independent and vibrant with the challenges of life. We were given free-will to become more useful - to actually participate in creation and be useful to God. We are trusted so we can be helpful by working on the problems we were given to solve.
If we learn to trust ourselves and God, then by the power of divine intervention (though we may sometimes make mistakes) we will learn how to be more effective with others, and feel good about our ability to make careful decisions. We will become free of judgements, and confident in ourselves, and our ability to empower each other.
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