Options for Conflict Resolution

My Defects of Character

  • While I believed in accountability, I know now that there is no way to work the 12-Steps without Anonymity.
  • I was naive; I didn't know hate, abuse, and disrespect could be honored.
  • I was deluded, and expected others to play fair, or else...
  • I was gullible; I underestimated the power of deception, and the hazards of being open and honest (please see: Historical Treatments).
  • If what I've been doing has been harmful, the fact that I've been following instructions, or taking advice does not excuse me from my fault. I need to know better.
  • Though I've been advised to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles, and respectful of religions of all kinds, I have to set as a goal the code of conduct I was taught to obey in order to live without shame.
  • While I've been advised to do so, being open and honest about things that most people keep private has been harmful to me and others.
  • I've persistently complained, and though others are sometimes offended by my efforts, it is now an example of what will result (please see: Log).
  • I react, rather than respond to many situations, sometimes without tolerance and compassion for others.
  • Because I thought I was a victim, I believed I had the right to inflict harm, or to cause damage.
  • Because I was afraid, I determined the capacity of others to do harm to protect myself (please see: Self Examination).
  • I was so shocked by the lewd behavior of people I grew up with, I shared my dismay with anyone who would listen - though it sometimes became dangerous.
  • Obstructed and disrupted in the fair trade of my business, I abandoned the health care system and others by using alternatives (please see: Network Harassment).


  • To be present and available by being of love and service to others.
  • To be charitable, compassionate and magnanimous.
  • To be respectful of my partner and her wishes.
  • To be honest and faithful to her, her family, and her friends.
  • To be trustworthy, and trusting, without unhealthy attachment.
  • To be responsible, and accountable, and to be loyal and true.
  • To be tender, loving, forgiving, gentle, kind, and understanding - and forsaking that, to take my leave and return when I am able.
  • To be respectful, and well mannered.
  • To be pure, and honorable.
  • To be selfless, tolerant, and helpful.
  • To protect and defend her and her rights.

What I Failed to Do:

  • Because I despaired, I failed to do what I needed to do. Because I failed to do what I needed to do, I could not make use of my talents.
  • Though it is clear that I've been forgiven in many ways, I have not been able to forgive everything.
  • I was not always willing to take the blame for others.
  • I have not always respected the privacy and/or confidence of others, though they kill to silence me (please see: Hate Crime Scene).
  • I have been unable to prevent much of the harm that continues to myself and others.
  • Failing to notice what bothers others, I may fail to address the most important problems in my life (please see: Transpositions).
  • Not doing my work well enough, I may fail those that govern, and those I seek to protect.
  • I have not always given back what has been freely given to me.
  • I cannot always put the wants and needs of others before my own.
  • I cannot always prioritize business due to the disruption and interference in my life.
  • I cannot always prioritize the care of my body, mind, or properties while meeting the demands of my business.

What I Should Have Done Instead:

  • Walk the talk, and make the most of every moment.
  • Be respectful of the boundaries of others and mind my own business, or else...
  • Consider what I might have done, rather than regret what was.
  • Make amends to those I've harmed, regardless of their behavior with me.
  • Replace negative thoughts with positive experiences of things I enjoy in life.
  • Respect the power of nature, the authority of those who govern, and teachers and healers.
  • Take good care of myself so I can pay my debts and give back to the people who survive me.
  • Do the right thing, rather than focusing on feeling good.
  • Be honest enough to learn from my mistakes, and open enough to be useful with what I've learned.

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