My Defects of Character

  • While I believe in accountability, I know now that there is no way to work the 12-Steps without Anonymity.
  • I was naive, vulnerable, and I underestimated the power of cruelty, and the hazards of being open and honest (please see: Historical Treatments).
  • If what I've done to recover has been harmful, following instructions, or taking advice does not excuse me from harmful behavior. I need to know the difference between right and wrong by cultivating my relationship with God.
  • While I've been able to write down the causes and conditions of my drinking, I may have harmed members of my family by doing so.
  • Though I'm expected to 'work the program', and be respectful of many kinds of spiritual practice, I have set as a goal the Ten Commandments as my code of conduct because it was what I was taught to be free of shame.
  • Though I sometimes complain, and others may be offended by my effort to do so, my log now serves as an example of what will happen when we do (please see: Log).
  • Sometimes I react, or act out of anger, or fear without tolerance or compassion for others when offended by behavior I do not understand.
  • Because I thought I was a victim, I believed I had a right to inflict harm, or to cause damage to those who harmed me.
  • Because I was disturbed by the sex conduct in my home, I evaluated the capacity of others, and myself to do harm (please see: Self Examination).
  • Shocked by lewd behavior, I shared what I knew with authorities I thought I could trust only to find that they covered up the same thing.
  • Dismayed by allegations of insanity when talking to counselors, while drunk, I demonstrated what happened in order to recruit new witnesses.
  • Disrupted and interfered with in my effort to conduct free trade, I abandoned the health care system, the church, and a large part of the recovery community to use alternatives (please see: Sabotage).


  • To be present and available by being of love and service to others.
  • To be charitable, compassionate and magnanimous.
  • To be respectful of my partner and her wishes.
  • To be honest and faithful to her, her family, and her friends.
  • To be trustworthy, and trusting, without unhealthy attachment.
  • To be responsible, and accountable, and to be loyal and true.
  • To be tender, loving, forgiving, gentle, kind, and understanding - and forsaking that, to take my leave and return when I am able.
  • To be respectful, and well mannered.
  • To be pure, and honorable.
  • To be selfless, tolerant, and helpful.
  • To protect and defend her and her rights.

What I Failed to Do:

  • Because I despaired, I failed to do what I needed to do. Because I failed to do what I needed to do, I could not make use of my talents.
  • Though it is clear that I've been forgiven in many ways, I have not been able to forgive everything.
  • I have not always admitted to my own mistakes or taken the blame for others.
  • Sometimes, admitting my own mistakes has been harmful to myself and others.
  • I do not always respect the privacy and/or confidence of others, though they've killed to silence us (please see: Hate Crime Scene).
  • I have been unable to prevent much of the harm that continues to myself and others.
  • Failing to notice what bothers us, I fail to address the most important problems in my life (please see: Transpositions).
  • Not doing my work well, I may fail those that govern, and those I seek to protect and defend.
  • I have not always given back what has been freely given to me.
  • I cannot always put the needs of others before mine, or my work.
  • I cannot always prioritize my business because disruption and interference to my life prevents me from the efficiencies of my business.
  • I cannot always prioritize the care of my body, mind, or properties while meeting the needs of my business.
  • While I write new policy to defend my people, I alone do not have the power to require compliance. Please see: Bodywork

What I Should Have Done Instead:

  • Walk the talk, and make the most of every moment.
  • Be respectful of the boundaries of others and mind my own business.
  • Consider what might have been, as well as the mistakes of the past.
  • Make amends to those I've been harmful to, regardless of their conduct with me.
  • Replace trauma and negative thoughts with healing and transformation.
  • Respect the power of nature, the authority of those who govern, and the teachers and healers I've been lucky to get to know.
  • Take good care of myself so I can fulfill my obligations, and give back to the people who survive me.
  • Do right to build character, rather than focusing on good feelings.
  • Learn from my mistakes to share the way out, not just descriptions of the problems themselves.